Old Man Folders & The Mall Ninja Kid S01E07 - Get Your Larp On Media
Published: 1 week ago
Old Man Folders & the Mall Ninja Kid | Episode 7 - Get Your Larp On
Three guys walk into a knife shop, a cigar lounge, and an FFL — because they're all in the same building in Alaska. This week, Old Man Folders, Mall Ninja Kid, and producer TBD cover everything from suppressor drama and HK obsessions to $1,200 spinning tops, zombie Cerakote jobs, and why you absolutely cannot ship ammo to Alaska. Expect hot takes, cold steel, and at least one Aston Martin.
Chapters:
Show Intro
The most chaotic intro in podcast history. "I'm Old Man Folders." "No, I'm Old Man Folders." It gets sorted out eventually.
7:04 – Top Hates: EDC Fidget Toys & Overpriced Collectors
A $1,200 spinning top with a six-month waitlist. For what? Old Man Folders uses everything he owns into the dirt. Mall Ninja Kid does too — but only to open boxes of knives.
10:51 – Commando Store & Eastern European Gear
A Ukrainian Mil-Surp store called "Get Your Larp On" sells fake Adidas tracksuits, IKEA-branded (well, "Idea"-branded) AK mag carriers, and a $30 Russian knockoff Casio. Mall Ninja Kid wants all of it.
17:52 – NFA Items, Suppressors & Tax Stamp Changes
Tax stamps are gone and wait times are days, not years. Mall Ninja Kid just ordered a low-backpressure 7.62 can after his brass literally exploded. Chuck from Alaska Ballistics is hoarding suppressors and paranoid about flash signatures.
22:29 – HK USP & Compact Tactical Hunt
The HK45 Compact Tactical: discontinued, worth $3,500+, and Mall Ninja Kid traded his away for basically nothing. The guy who took it still comments on his videos to gloat.
27:00 – Griffin Suppressors & the Solid Snake Build
Mall Ninja Kid's .45 suppressor is Hollywood quiet — just a puff and the action cycling. He bought it specifically to live out a Metal Gear fantasy with his HK USP.
34:26 – Japanese Swords: Wakizashi & Katana Appraisals
Old Man Folders has a wakizashi that just got re-dated 100 years older than previously thought — potentially worth $15K at auction. Can a wakizashi behead someone? Technically no. A katana? Absolutely.
39:29 – Knife Community Rants: Grail Knives & Strider vs. Hinderer
Stop buying knives just to photograph them. Mall Ninja Kid has the Hinderer XM-24. Old Man Folders daily-carries an SMF. ProTech's springs are so violent the Runt will spin out of your hand.
50:03 – Aston Martin Tangent
There's a Tiffany blue–on–Tiffany blue–on–Tiffany blue V8 Vantage Aston Martin for sale right now, cheapest in the country at $30K. Old Man Folders is working on getting producer Dakota to buy it. Dakota has a Tiffany blue ProTech knife. The signs are all there.
53:02 – Jeep Mods, Car Talk & LED Lights
Mall Ninja Kid's turbo Wrangler is making absurd torque. Old Man Folders explains downpipes, tunes, and why Jeep is technically Italian now. Also: how to install backup lights when every other bulb is sealed.
59:37 – Wild West Guns & Local Gunsmithing
Joe West Jr. called about Cerakote work. Wild West Guns closed their retail floor but never closed — same story as Alaska Tactical. Their Bush Gun is a takedown 45-70 that fits in a backpack and can reportedly kill a polar bear.
1:04:40 – Unreasonable Warranty Policies
An unnamed "Right F***ing Here" American brand wants $50–$125 just to accept a warranty return — and won't take USPS. From Alaska. For normal wear and tear. Old Man Folders is not impressed.
1:08:02 – Alaska Shipping Hacks & Outro
No one ships to Alaska. The hacks: eBay sellers who don't know the rules, carrying ammo in checked luggage, and palletizing cases on the barge. Old Man Folders moved up here with everything he owned in a 4×4×4 pallet.
*Old Man Folders | Mall Ninja Kid | Name TBD | Cheez-It is the F**ing Fuzz
Knives · Guns · Gear · Alaska · Chaos
Three guys walk into a knife shop, a cigar lounge, and an FFL — because they're all in the same building in Alaska. This week, Old Man Folders, Mall Ninja Kid, and producer TBD cover everything from suppressor drama and HK obsessions to $1,200 spinning tops, zombie Cerakote jobs, and why you absolutely cannot ship ammo to Alaska. Expect hot takes, cold steel, and at least one Aston Martin.
Chapters:
Show Intro
The most chaotic intro in podcast history. "I'm Old Man Folders." "No, I'm Old Man Folders." It gets sorted out eventually.
7:04 – Top Hates: EDC Fidget Toys & Overpriced Collectors
A $1,200 spinning top with a six-month waitlist. For what? Old Man Folders uses everything he owns into the dirt. Mall Ninja Kid does too — but only to open boxes of knives.
10:51 – Commando Store & Eastern European Gear
A Ukrainian Mil-Surp store called "Get Your Larp On" sells fake Adidas tracksuits, IKEA-branded (well, "Idea"-branded) AK mag carriers, and a $30 Russian knockoff Casio. Mall Ninja Kid wants all of it.
17:52 – NFA Items, Suppressors & Tax Stamp Changes
Tax stamps are gone and wait times are days, not years. Mall Ninja Kid just ordered a low-backpressure 7.62 can after his brass literally exploded. Chuck from Alaska Ballistics is hoarding suppressors and paranoid about flash signatures.
22:29 – HK USP & Compact Tactical Hunt
The HK45 Compact Tactical: discontinued, worth $3,500+, and Mall Ninja Kid traded his away for basically nothing. The guy who took it still comments on his videos to gloat.
27:00 – Griffin Suppressors & the Solid Snake Build
Mall Ninja Kid's .45 suppressor is Hollywood quiet — just a puff and the action cycling. He bought it specifically to live out a Metal Gear fantasy with his HK USP.
34:26 – Japanese Swords: Wakizashi & Katana Appraisals
Old Man Folders has a wakizashi that just got re-dated 100 years older than previously thought — potentially worth $15K at auction. Can a wakizashi behead someone? Technically no. A katana? Absolutely.
39:29 – Knife Community Rants: Grail Knives & Strider vs. Hinderer
Stop buying knives just to photograph them. Mall Ninja Kid has the Hinderer XM-24. Old Man Folders daily-carries an SMF. ProTech's springs are so violent the Runt will spin out of your hand.
50:03 – Aston Martin Tangent
There's a Tiffany blue–on–Tiffany blue–on–Tiffany blue V8 Vantage Aston Martin for sale right now, cheapest in the country at $30K. Old Man Folders is working on getting producer Dakota to buy it. Dakota has a Tiffany blue ProTech knife. The signs are all there.
53:02 – Jeep Mods, Car Talk & LED Lights
Mall Ninja Kid's turbo Wrangler is making absurd torque. Old Man Folders explains downpipes, tunes, and why Jeep is technically Italian now. Also: how to install backup lights when every other bulb is sealed.
59:37 – Wild West Guns & Local Gunsmithing
Joe West Jr. called about Cerakote work. Wild West Guns closed their retail floor but never closed — same story as Alaska Tactical. Their Bush Gun is a takedown 45-70 that fits in a backpack and can reportedly kill a polar bear.
1:04:40 – Unreasonable Warranty Policies
An unnamed "Right F***ing Here" American brand wants $50–$125 just to accept a warranty return — and won't take USPS. From Alaska. For normal wear and tear. Old Man Folders is not impressed.
1:08:02 – Alaska Shipping Hacks & Outro
No one ships to Alaska. The hacks: eBay sellers who don't know the rules, carrying ammo in checked luggage, and palletizing cases on the barge. Old Man Folders moved up here with everything he owned in a 4×4×4 pallet.
*Old Man Folders | Mall Ninja Kid | Name TBD | Cheez-It is the F**ing Fuzz
Knives · Guns · Gear · Alaska · Chaos